Monday, July 24, 2006

If you're visiting a small hotel....

and you want your host(ess) to be able to honestly say "it was lovely to have you here, please do come back" rather than through gritted teeth, here are a few pointers.

  • Wash all the makeup off your face before drying it with the fluffy white towels (it's very hard to get foundation and lipstick, not to mention mascara, stains out of towelling)
  • order what you really would like to eat at breakfast (it gets depressing when untouched food is returned to the kitchen)
  • Ask, if there's something that would make your stay more pleasant (generally we're delighted to be able to help, even if it means moving you to another room if one's available)

  • sit and seethe about something and only mention it in passing as you leave when it's far to late for me to fix it
  • make a hot chocolate and feed it to the pillow, or the carpet
  • smoke in the bedrooms (it's illegal, could result in a hefty fine to both you and the landlord, and extremely inconsiderate of anyone staying after you)
  • stomp about at 3am, waking up everyone else in the building
  • demand a drink in the wee small hours because it's your "right" to have one as you're resident, and you're drunk enough not to realise that you've already had enough (no-one has a right to be served alcohol, and it's illegal for me to serve someone who's drunk!)
  • take your dog to bed with you (those are stains I've never managed to remove, along with what I suspect may have been hair styling oil)

And finally
Please remember that most small businesses are struggling to make ends meet. Walking off with just two bath towels will mean that I have made no money at all on your one-night stay. Clearing the tray of breakfast cereal portions will mean I have lost quite a bit. Toiletries, bottled water, and tea/coffee etc are there to be used, though!


Blogger Rhiannon Macfie Miller said...

I felt very ashamed the time I stayed with family at a small hotel, and asked for black pudding with my kippers at breakfast in the morning – not a combination that was on the menu, but they were happy to do it for me (in fact they offered to do it as I was being indecisive about which to choose). When the food arrived, another member of the party decided she didn't want the black pudding that was part of her full English, even though it had been clearly there on the menu, and put it on my plate. But there was no way that I could possibly manage two large slices of black pudding and three large fillets of kipper; I had to leave one of each. So of course it would have looked to the people in the kitchen as if I'd ordered a black pudding only to leave it untouched…

1/8/06 16:55  
Blogger Dez Crawford said...

You forgot one critical thing, Lorna ... leave a tip for the person who cleans the room -- and any one else who should be tipped. I am always appalled at business travelers who don't leave a tip for the maid, who, even if you are tidy, must still clean the room. Persons having romantic encounters and other festivites in a room should tip double -- give a little thought to the ICKY stuff you leave behind for other people to deal with, for goodness sakes!

17/8/06 23:54  

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